| Don't worry im over it...oh btw my new love is for brand new... |
[23 Oct 2004|08:57am] |
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mood |
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 happy |
] |
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music |
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Brand New - The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot |
] |
If it makes you less sad
I will die by your hand
I hope you find out what you are
Already know what I am
And if it makes you less sad
we'll start talking again
and you can tell me how vile i already know that i am
i'll grow old
start acting my age
ill be a brand new day in a life that you hate
a crown of gold
a heart thats harder than stone
and it hurts a whole lot
but its missed when its gone
call me a safe bet
im betting im not
im glad you can forgive
im only hoping as time goes
you can forget
if it makes you less sad
i'll move outta the state
you can keep to yourself
i'll keep outta your way
and if it makes you less sad
i'll take your pictures all down
every picture you paint
i will paint myself out
its as cold as a tomb
and its dark in your room
when i sneak to your bed to pour salt in your wounds
so call it quits
or get a grip
say you wanted a solution
you just wanted to be missed
call me a safe bet
im betting im not
im glad that you can forgive
im only hoping as time goes
you can forget
you are calm and reposed
let your beauty unfold
pale white
like the skin stretched over your bones
spring keeps you ever close
you are second hand smoke
you are so fragile and thin
standing trial for your sins
holding onto yourself the best you can
you are the smell before the rain
you are the blood in my veins
call me a safe bet
im betting im not
im glad that you can forgive
im only hoping as time goes
you can forget...
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[22 Oct 2004|10:26pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 depressed |
] |
| [ |
music |
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My cries... |
] |
I seriously think there's
something wrong with me.
I'm eating less, im like
never happy anymore, well
at least im not unless im
around ****. which i never
am. plus he doesn't like
me so what does it matter?
Is it bad if you're having
suicidle thoughts...
is it bad if you feel the
NEED to conflict pain upon
yourself? what does it matter
no one will care if i do. And
it makes me feel better by
knowing where i feel my pain.
I feel so unloved...does anyone
love me?
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| stab me in the fucking heart and watch my love for you spill onto your floor |
[22 Oct 2004|10:12pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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heart broken |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Brand New - Seventy Times 7 |
] |
I feel like
throwing up
God i love him...
but now...
i don't think he
loves me back...
what did or didn't
i do...
=(
"Back in school they never
taught us what we needed to
know like how to deal with
disppare or someone breaking
your heart..."
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| Best friends means, well best friends means... |
[21 Oct 2004|06:45pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 eh, alright |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Brand New - Jude Law And A Semester Abroad |
] |
omg gotta thank christen
for this awesome tbs/
brand new back ground...
aint it hot? haha you
know it! Well, an okay
day. I was gunna go to the
foot ball game but i didn't
feel like walking up creepy
andover street in the dark
alone...haha i dunno about
you but i don't wanna be
raped. Yea anyway, i might
be goin to the movies to
see grudge tomorrow. i
dunno. if im not bussy i
will. Weee im so in love!
haha yea, well im finding
out who my real friends
are. i guess thats a good
thing..eh whatever...
<3
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| Live life to the fullest... |
[20 Oct 2004|02:45pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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inspired |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Rob's preformance going through my head again |
] |
Look at these paintings...
they are so amazing and this
guy does them in less than
ten minutes. He came to our
school today and all the
people in art classes got to
see his presntation. It wasn't
boring at all. He had music
playing and the autorium was
dark and he had cool lights
and little film strips to go with
his paintings...it was so ...
how shall i put this? Well it
was just amazing. He painted
pictures of the statue of liberty,
Abe Lincoln, Mother Threasa,
Gandie, and Dr. Martin Luther
King Jr. And the speachs and
just everthing all put together..
makes you wanna be someone
it makes you want to make a
difference in the world, it makes
you want to paint. god, it was
just unbelievable. I got to talk
to him and his incite on life is
just so remarkable...it was
almost inspiring. Well now im in
the mood to paint so ill write
more on another exciting day..
<3
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| I was acctually having a good day...fuck... |
[19 Oct 2004|08:27pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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crushed |
] |
| [ |
music |
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The voices inside mt head... |
] |
Ahhh Johns such a
grrrr i can't believe
him! He was gunna take
me to the TBS/Funeral
For a Friend/ Atreyu
concert and now he's
not because he's taking
Zack instead....ZACK?!
1) he's never been to a
real concert before and
he's gunna be on his
own...he has no idea what
he's in for...2) he doesn't
even really like TBS...
and i he's never heard of
Funeral For a Friend (a
shame i know) but yea...
he wouldn't appreciate
going to the concert as
much as i would, and i've
been waiting for a long
time to go to this concert
and i was like more than
happy and greatful that i
was gunna be able to go,
no that happiness is denided
to me becuz my step-bro
can't gimme a ride, i mean i
can pay for the ticket, i
just need a ride. Dude, if
anyone else is going to the
Boston show Nov. 18 and they
think they can gimme a ride
pleeeease comment! and i will
love you forever and ever and
ever and ever and ever and god
i will thank you every day if
i can just please go to this
concert! It would mean more
than anything in the world to
me! Again, comment if you
can gimme a ride to the Nov. 18th
show...
<3
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| i think to much...somebody shoot me |
[19 Oct 2004|03:28pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 confused |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Brand New - Jude Law And A Semester Abroad |
] |
Well today was pretty good.
I slept in my moms comfy bed
last night because my step
dads in San Diego on bussiness.
So i got a good nights sleep.
And i had an alright day at
school. I relised that my math
teacher doesn't pay attention
to us in the back far corner.
I kinda like it that way.
Not being noticed. Though I
would like to be noticed by
some..im not saying names. Yea,
anyway, then i walked home in
the pouring rain. It acctually
felt like i got home faster.
And i felt like a was oblivious
to the world, like i wasn't
even there walking home, except
for the fact the back of my
legs were so cold from the water
that they almost burned. I love
walking home by myself. It gives
me some time to think. I mean
really think, like not have to
worry about the comotion around
you, and just viewing the fall
foliage as i walk down the street,
im in my own world, in my own
almost trans, that is until i
get home or someone comes along.
What do i think about? I think
about many things, like love.
What is love anyway, i mean, what
is it? How do you know your truly
in love and not just crushing on
someone? or how do you know
someone really loves you, or it
they're just saying that to get
something from you or just to make
you feel good. you don't know if
they really love you. You can only
guess really, and trust them. I
think about school to, like wheather
i should do this homework or wait
untill home room to do it. and music,
i think a lot about music, like i
dunno, i wish i had a pen and paper
handy while i walked home, jot down
ideas, and all the lyrics i come up
with. Seriously, i think i've
created/imagined an intire song on
my walk home. and i put my life in
story form. to see everything i do
wrong, or what i should do right or
what not. god, this must sound super
lame. Well if the shoe fits. anyway,
i'm supose to be doing homework right
now but im to indepth in thought to
stop and do my homework, i have to
get everything down on paper first.
then my mind shall be clear and ready
to do homework that i don't want to
do. Now im getting way off topic.
Hmm...where was i? Oh yes, getting
all my thoughts down on paper. yes.
well there's this guy, i wasn't sure
if i loved him or just liked him a
lot. but i guess i do love him...
*sigh* i do love him..grr..what
should i do? He already knows i
love him..well i dunno if he knows
but i've told him..and i think i annoy
him, i try to talk to him to often..
i guess i should wait for him to
talk to me...but really, if anyone
has any sudgestions please comment..
i have no idea what to do..im
definatly going to lose sleep over this one.
<3
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| Wow... |
[18 Oct 2004|04:34pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
depressed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
The sounds of my iner thoughts |
] |
I haven't been this
shooken up since the
last car accident i
was in. Blah, now i
don't feel like doing
anything, anyone else
who's been in a car
accident knows what
i mean. At least this
one wasn't as bad as
the big one i was in
sometime in January.
Well other than that
i had an okay day of
school. God, i wish i
was with one of my
friends right now...
i just wanna have some
one here to hear me
talk and give me hugs
and all that shit...
eh, latly i've felt
sad for no apparent
reason, and im taking
out on people and im
sorry that i am. I
don't mean to...
And did i tell you im in love...
<3
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| TBS rocks my socks... |
[17 Oct 2004|05:34pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
All creative like |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Sum 41 - Second Chance For Max Headroom |
] |
I'm all excited and such.
I'm going to the Taking
Back Sunday concert Nov.
18th! Yesss!! That's so
freakin sweeet! My step
bro John's gunna buy the
tickets off of ticket
master with his card.Then
I'm gunna pay him back.
They're only $20.25 per
ticket. Ahh dude i can't
wait.
Hrm..that's all i have to
say on that subject. I
gotta get or do something
for Ryan's birthday. Eh, I
got about a month left, so
I won't bother worrying
about it now.
I'm working on trying to
play my guitar every day.
I've only learned about
two songs. The Boy Who
Blocked His Own Shot and
Seventy times Seven both
by Brand New. I'm going to
try to learn Ghost Man
On Third by TBS. But, i
dunno i was thinking about
learning a Sum 41 or maybe
an Iron Maiden song. I
dunno. I wanna learn songs
that are more rock/metal.
More on a more exciting
day...
<3
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| Well it's love make it hurt... |
[16 Oct 2004|10:54pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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Fantasticly Awesome |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Taking Back Sunday - Bonus Mosh Pt. 2 |
] |
Went over Ryan's around hmm...
5-ish? Well yea, i got to his
house and he was there with
his buddy Criag. Criag's pretty
freaken cool. Anyway, we walked
to Hunking and just hung out.
Ryan, the asshole he is (and ry,
don't take that affencivly,
because i mean it in a loving
caring way...haha what am i
talking about? i dunno well
anyway continuing), stole
my shoe haha. So for revenge i
took his precious hat. I love
that hat. It smells good,
like Ryan. heh. Ryans pretty
freakin great.
hmm...anyway, then it started
to get dark, so we started
home. Then we stopped at Woods
School. haha it was dark i couldn't
see Ryan! Then he ran and fell
on me haha.
Then i heard my phone ringing
and i was like "ahhh wheres me
phone!?" and Ryan's like "uhh
it's right here haha next to my
penis" ahaha yea, it was my mom,
John was coming to pick me up in
15 mins. Twas a shame...i love
hanging with Ryan. And his friend
Craig is cool too...
Well then i came home and had some
dinner and then strawberry short
cake :D mmmm tasty tehehe. And
now im here...on the comp...
being bored...
Ahh fudge cake! I get to see my
uncle Mike tomorrow! Hurray! I
haven't seen him in a long time.
He's been in Iraq, then Italy.
He just came home Thursday.
Well that's all i got so later angel...
<3
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| you never knew, well i never told you... |
[16 Oct 2004|09:39am] |
| [ |
mood |
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GRRREAT! |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Brand New - MIx Tape |
] |
Well, i babysat last night.
I guess it was alright.
I made 25 bucks :D
HURRAY!
haha i like never have money
anymore. And i owe Kristi
15 bucks, so in reality i
only got 10. Well 10 dollars
is better than no dollars right?
Yea...well anywho, today Haley
gets to hang out with Ryan!
Hurray!
Yeep, i haven't talked to him
yet today. But then again it's
only 9:40 A.M.
But today should be fun,
any day with Ryan is fun.
haha like the time we lost
Pablo in the mall but he
was right outside the store
to begin with. haha good times
good times....
<3
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| Wow... |
[14 Oct 2004|10:27pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 dorky |
] |
| [ |
music |
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The sounds of my mind going slowly insane... |
] |
I've been thinking a lot latly...i think to much really.
I'm most likly getting my hair cut this weekend.
(Finally, i've been waiting for weeks!)
Should look good.
I could be wrong i supose, theres always that chance.
I'm wrong a lot. Doesn't suprise me. I mean, like five
minutes after class i forget everything. It happens everytime.
But then, at the end of the day, while im walking home,
thinking (as usual) it all rushes back to me.
Weird...
"...Jynx me something crazy
Thinking if it's three
then I'm as smooth as the skin
rolls across the small of your back
It's too bad it's not my style
If you need me
I'm out and on the parkway,
patient and waiting for headlights,
dressed in a fashion that's fitting to the
inconsistencys of my moods
It's times like these where silence means everything
And no one is to know about this
It's times like these, where silence means everything..."
Well until next time dark stranger...
<3
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| It's times like these when silence means everything |
[14 Oct 2004|05:43pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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alright |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Taking Back Sunday Ghostman On Thrid (love that song!) |
] |
I had a pretty good day again today. I haven't had a bad day since Monday. I should have more good days to follow.
</bold> OMG i know him! </bold> haha
Haha, Jared and the foot thing! That's so great haha, it's not even that funny ahahahaha
More later...
<3
Oh btw as gay as this sounds, David from Simple Plan is wicked hott...i don't care what any of you think! He is and that's that...
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[13 Oct 2004|06:07pm] |
THE ULTIMATE SILENCE
October 12, 1998
Listen to the mustn'ts, child.
Listen to the don'ts.
Listen to the shouldn'ts,
The impossibles, the won'ts.
Listen to the never haves,
Then listen close to me ...
Anything can happen, child.
Anything can be.
~ Shel Silverstein
Six years ago today, Matthew Shepard was murdered for being homosexual.
What will you do to end the silence?
Click here to post this on your own page or weblog
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| Nooothhhinnnggg |
[13 Oct 2004|05:50pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
pretty good |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Jimmy Eat World - Pain |
] |
Well, today wasn't half bad, im actually in a pretty good mood...got me progress report and here it is...
*drumm roll*
Honors English 1 : C-D
Alegbra 1 : B
Wld. Hist 2 : B
Spanish 1 : B
Phys Sci 2 : A-B
Comp Rsrch : A-B
Studio Art : A-B
im not to happy with the honors english, i know i can do better, oh well.
Who's going to hangout with Ryan Saturday? This cool kid is!
And Friday...im baby sitting my cousins. It's easy money...
I gotta get reading this book im 30 pages behind...
Well more later when something interesting happens
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[11 Oct 2004|08:55am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
cheerful |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Cradle of Filth - No Time To Cry |
] |
Well im better now, soon im going to take a walk to kristi and kara's then maybe on a walk around haverhill because i have nothing better to do. Well if anyone wants to hangout call or im me something, because im so uberly bored!
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[11 Oct 2004|07:53am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
sucky |
] |
eh...having a bad day...
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[07 Oct 2004|08:52pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
geeky |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
The Voices Inside My Head |
] |
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[05 Oct 2004|03:55pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
better |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Driving In Silence - It Never Rains in June |
] |
Stayed home today, wasn't feeling well this morning...im much better now. My buddy Nick sent me some pics of band last night, they were so hott! haha yea anyway...nothing more to write for now...
<3
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